I'm not going to act like I am some kind of Bible scholar. I don't live a perfect life (though by now if you read the blog, I would think that'd be clear). I don't have all of theology understood. I make mistakes, I don't study God's word as often as I should, and am no where close to the 'perfect Christian wife/mother/daughter/friend/etc' If you think I am, I'm sorry we aren't better friends. Shoot me an email and we can talk about how God has used my many failures for His glory, because it still amazes me. This post is not going to sugar coat my life by any means.
If you know we went to Haiti, with God providing all the funds needed, while also redeeming so many other areas and providing in miraculous ways for so many needs-out of the blue-over the last ...all my life years...not just for 'Haiti'. I could tell you of how God provided us with not one, but two vehicles unexpectedly and RIGHT when we so desperately needed them. I can tell you how God provided us a brand spanking new washing machine when mine decided to flood our house (and how He provided the best neighbor ever to help me come clean up the mess.) I could tell you about how our oven shorted out and caught fire inside, and God not only protected our house but also provided a brand new stove/oven the next week! I could tell you how when we didn't have enough food, a friend brought us food from the food pantry at church. I could tell you how we almost lost our (in law's) house due to our income being slashed drastically, but God shielded us from that as well. I could tell you how when we had NO money, and our car battery died, the car part store gave us a free one under warranty of my parents from when THEY bought the battery before giving us the car. On and on I could go.
And yet, last week, I found myself once again wondering if God would provide. I won't say I was wrought with worry. I have lived those moments, and in this case, I was feeling like I'd seen to much to dwell on worrying-the Bible says not to worry, so I wasn't going to. But I certainly wasn't trusting. It wasn't that I didn't think He was capable. I knew that. It was more so, because I can't see what's around the bend, I just wasn't sure if He would provide. Sometimes God does tell us to wait, after all. But I could quote verse after verse on how God is our provider. He WANTS to be asked. We seek Him and petition Him in prayer with the intention that He will indeed answer. And we know we have a God who hears our cries. We know He loves us, don't we? I could spout off all these times God has done amazing things when I had such little faith and it blew me out of the water! He grew my faith. And yet my faith sometimes is still so small!
Cast all your cares upon Him because He cares for you.
Just a couple months ago I wrote about how Peter attempted to walk on the water without focusing on Christ the entire time, and he got swept away by His surroundings. This guy knew who Jesus was, He had seen the miracles. Heck, he gave up his life and followed Jesus for a living!
So it should come as no surprise that right in the middle of all that, they dealt with the same fears and trust issues that we all do. That's why those true stories were put there. To help us and teach us. What's interesting to me, if you've grown up in church, I'm sure you've heard the story of Jesus feeding the Five Thousand. (Or the Four thousand.) If you are like me, you aren't a Biblical scholar and though you've likely heard the "Sunday school version" over the years, they merged together for you. There are actually TWO, not just one, different stories about two different times Jesus fed a multitude of people. The first time, He feeds five thousand men, the second time He feeds four thousand men (this figure doesn't even include all the women or children). Totally did not know that! Guess it's just a reminder that I need to get in the word more!
What is funny to me is Matthew 14, starting with vs. 13, tells the story of Jesus feeding five thousand men. (I won't quote the passage, because every time I try to copy/paste the text, it blanks it out with white blocking. So instead I will just paraphrase the stories so you can get the general idea and go back and read them yourself.)
Basically, Jesus had been doing miracles and teaching for some time, and just before that John the Baptist was beheaded, so He went off on His own to just have some quiet alone time. But the people were so eager to hear what Jesus had to say that they followed Him. When Jesus came ashore He could see they were hungry....
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